Sodden Tale of Woe
by Beautiful-Chaos-Girl
Summary: No aliens, no explosions. Just one angry Donna and one very drunk Doctor... R
1. Chapter 1

Donna's screaming monologue wound down but her face remained tight and angry. The Doctor tried a few pacifying words and some frantic gestures with his hands, but she slapped them away. With a final jab of her finger in his face she turned and stormed off. The Doctor's shoulders slumped and he turned sadly back to the bar. The music continued to throb throughout the room and the partygoers head banging was unrelenting. The bar keep saw the Doctor sitting there and asked him if he wanted a drink. The Doctor shook his head, leaning his face wearily on one hand. The night progressed on and the crowd gradually thinned. A few men still lingered on, gripping their glasses like life lines. The Doctor hadn't moved from his seat once. He wondered where Donna had stomped off to. Hopefully she'd had the sense to go back to the TARDIS and wasn't bashing it up too badly in her temper. The bar keep took another look at the Doctor's forlorn expression.

"Unlucky in love mate?" his voice was husky and warm like an experienced father talking to his son.

The Doctor shrugged "I guess so"

The bar keep nodded in understanding and slid him a drink across the counter. The Doctor held up his hand to refuse but the bar keep insisted "have it on the house mate, you look like you could use a stiff drink" he began towelling down the used glasses. The Doctor swirled the amber liquid around in the glass, considering his options. Suddenly he lifted the glass to his lips and swallowed the contents in one go. His face screwed in bitter disgust and he blew air from his cheeks. His hands were shaking awkwardly. The bar keep's eyes had widened in a mixture of concern and amusement.

"Steady on man!"

The Doctor wiped his mouth briskly and set the glass down with a thunk. "Hit me with another"

A few (9) drinks later and the Doctor felt a lot looser. Having two hearts meant the alcohol was pumped around his system in double time and hit his brain with a sudden rush. His speech hissed and slurred like gas escaping a pipe. His hands didn't go exactly where he wanted them to but they managed to find the glass. And the bar keep found himself listening to a sodden tale of woe for the umpteenth time in his career as a barman.

"I mean a leasht I had the **deeshenshi** to apol-apo-apl… say _sh_orry for the shings** I** did wrong but her… ooohh no! She never did **nofing** wrong! **Neva!**" the Doctor's drink sloshed.

The barman scooped it out of his hand and tipped the last of it down the drain. "Yeah well that's women for you. c'mon mate you've had enough" he pulled him up off the stool and gently guided him out side "go home and sleep. This will all look better in the morning"

The Doctor staggered out into the street still mumbling and hissing to himself. Where had he parked the TARDIS? He was sure it had been just round the corner. Maybe he'd taken a wrong turning, walked down the wrong street. He whirled around, the drink sloshing in his stomach. His head swam. He felt sick. His hearts hammered in his ears.


	2. Chapter 2

Donna struggled to force the key to turn, cursing and kicking at the TARDIS door. Finally the tumblers co-operated and the door swung open. She stomped inside, kicking the central console.

"That man!" she put on a harsh mimicking pitch into her tone "He's a Time Lord he can see time in flux bla blah bla! If you ask me he's just afraid someone else might know a bit more than he does"

She threw her key across the console, bottom lip stuck out in a fresh sulk. She plopped herself down into the pilot seats and brooded. Several minutes passed. No, she was still mad. Still absolutely livid. What the Doctor had done was simply in-excusable. So she wasn't even in the least bit worried about him. No, no, no. not at all. She sighed.

The Doctor's legs felt as if they were made of rubber. His stomach felt as if it was writhing inside him. It lurched and he fell to his knees, trying not to hurl. One more lurch and he was on his hands and knees, throwing up. He felt like bits of his brain were falling away. Cars whizzed past him, thick streams of colour, light and noise, assaulting his poor head. A woman walking past him stopped.

"Are you a 'right love?"

He looked up at her with bleary eyes. She reached out a hand and pulled him to his feet. He wobbled unsteadily. She giggled, and grabbed a hold of him to steady him. They both lost their balance and tumbled over onto the grass. The woman giggled again and spent a suspicious amount of time picking herself off him, hovering over him for a moment. Slowly this time she helped him to stand. The Doctor's head spun and he couldn't quite figure out what was going on. The woman laid a hand on his chest, something disturbing glittering in her eyes. She leaned forward, accentuating the low neckline of her shirt, giving the Doctor an eyeful. He automatically looked away but found her mouth right near his ear.

"Why don't we go someplace where I can make you feel better?"

Naively the Doctor thought she meant she could fix his thumping headache and nauseous stomach. So he willingly followed her, like a lamb to slaughter. They bumbled along the street for a moment, the girl giggling salaciously.

The Doctor lost his footing for a moment and fell into the girl. She caught him, exclaiming loudly.

"Somebody's eager! Keep it in your trousers mate, we aren't there yet!"

"Where are we going?"

"Don't worry I know a place" She licked her lips wolfishly and pulled him along. They reached a quieter part of the streets, all boarded up shops and blaring street lights. She pulled him over to a parked car and pushed him onto the hood. She then seized his face and proceeded to cover him with kisses. As if she was mapping out a track, she made her way from his cheek to his lips to his ear and down his throat. He squirmed underneath her, beginning to panic.

"No please, No! I have to get home! I want… want my bed…" he struggled to form the words, his brain was addled and his mouth seemed full of sawdust. She stopped, holding his face with both hands and regarding him for a moment.

"You want a bed?" She shrugged "you're paying" she hauled him off the car and dragged him back down the street.

Donna tapped her foot nervously. She pursed her lips, in and out. Her thumbs twiddled on their own accord. She unconsciously nibbled on her bottom lip. Oh! Damn that man! She jumped up from the seat and grabbed her key, dropping it safely into her jacket pocket. She headed out the door muttering to herself. It didn't take her long to get back to the pokey little bar where the fight had come to a head. The doors were closed. Locked bolted and chained. It was unlikely the Doctor was still in there. She scuffed her feet in frustration. Where could he be? She looked around. People bustled past her. Neon lights blinked, advertising late night bars, restaurants, pokies and cheap hotels. She stepped out to get a better look down the street and collided with two people. Everyone fell to the pavement. Donna groaned in pain, looking up to see the people who'd knocked her down. One looked quite a tart, lips a blaring red, peroxide blonde hair thick and long. Her dress was tiny, the neckline plunging to terrifying lengths and the skirt barley touching her thighs. In fact there was quite a lot of her showing, nothing left to the imagination. She got up and glared down at Donna.

"Why don't you watch where the bloody hell you're walking?"

Donna was about to sling a sassy remark back when she noticed the other person on the pavement.

"Doctor?" she asked in confusion

"Donna?" he replied, his voice breathless and broken.

"Who are you?" the girl sounded furious

"More importantly who are you and what are you doing with … my husband?" Donna thought as fast as she could but the word still rolled awkwardly from her tongue and fell flat to the floor

The girl snorted in derision "You two? No wonder he threw himself at me! Trying to escape the raving fish wife and get it good for once"

Donna decked her.

Before the little madam could figure out what hit her, Donna hauled the Doctor to his feet and dragged him away.


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor lay sleeping in a motel bedroom. He was sprawled over the bed where Donna had dumped him. Donna opened the door softly, smiling. The Doctor roused languidly. Donna reached up… and flicked the light switch streaming the room with light. The Doctor groaned in pain and indignation, seizing a pillow to block this intrusion to his senses.

"Rise and shine sleepy head" she chorused, loud and cheerful

The Doctor moaned again as he ventured out from the pillow and raised his head "why are you screaming?" his voice was groggy and slow

"I'm not. I'm just happy revelling in my vengeance" Donna said the words "revelling in my vengeance" in a near shriek. The Doctor cried out at the sudden noise, clutching his temples "stop it! It hurts!"

"Okay I'm sorry. Look, just to show how un-horrible I am I've made you a good stiff drink" she held out a white cup.

"No. No more alcohol" the Doctor said waving a lazy hand at her and pulling the pillow back over his head "I'm never drinking again" his voice was muffled but the regret in his groaning was unmistakable.

"No, not booze. Coffee" she said cheerily

He looked at the steaming Styrofoam cup in her hand "will it help?" voice still weak and bleary.

Donna shrugged "It what my mum drinks when she's hung-over. Seems to work for her"

The Doctor sat up and took the cup gratefully "I'll try anything to get rid of this thumping behind my brain" he sipped it tentatively. Donna sat down beside him on the bed and flicked the TV on. After a few tedious moments flicking through infomercials she switched it off again.

"Thanks Donna" the Doctor said hoarsely.

Donna looked back at him and took pity on him for the first time. His face was drawn and pale. His eyes were red, the veins stark against the whites of his eyes. His clothes were rumpled and stained with beer, dirt and lipstick. He reeked of boozy vomit and cheap perfume. She remembered all the terrible hangovers she'd had, those times she'd been convinced she was dying. Not to mention desperately trying to remember what she'd done and being so embarrassed she wished she _was _dying when she finally did. She sat down next to him and laid a hand on his head.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked softly

"Probably. I hope so. I dunno" he grimaced and flopped back on the bed. Donna scooped up the coffee just in time.

"Believe it or not Doctor I know how you feel, and trust me, you will recover"

"You're sure?"

"Totally"

He smiled "thanks Donna. You're a good friend"


End file.
